Grateful

Kari

October 26 is a milestone each year with our family.  It is the day, four years ago, when Kari (almost 30 year old daughter) decided to stop taking her drug of choice, meth.  She had a heart to heart with God.  Basically she felt He was telling her this was her way out, and bravely she began her recovery. 

At first she had to deal with all the physical aspects of recovery.  The easier part of that was letting her sleep.  There was other physical issues such as with teeth, weakness, being sick to the stomach, etc. Kari actually fainted at a large event in Seattle.

She got rid of all her paraphernalia which was quite a bit.  She also had to get rid of friends that were anyone that had to do with drugs and drugs use.  She had to get a new phone number.  She dropped out of the drug scene totally.

The emotional recovery took longer.  I could write a book on this subject.  Even now after four years she is learning how to deal with life situations. Coping techniques has been a hard change.  In the past she took drugs to deal with an issue.  Since then, she has had to deal with stress, fear, being overwhelmed, and other negative feelings such as anxiety.  We all develop ways to cope.  We all have learned how to work through these problems.  But when the addict returns to living they often don't know how to deal with feeling the would push down by masking them or self medicating.

The addict also adopts an image about themselves.  For years they chase the drug they need.  They cut off family members and develop a different lifestyle that no one in their right mind would sign up for.  The drugs lead them into it. They lie, cheat, steal even with each other.  Many also have to address legal problems their drug use created.

The spiritual aspect is needed in my opinion.  I don't know how she would have got through the challenges without faith in God.  There are so many things in life that could be said that same statement, I know.  God would help her as she took each step out of this life.

I had to learn to not expect too much to soon.  I let her sleep.  I would get frustrated sometimes but I would end up praying knowing God knew what I didn't know.  Later I would find out but not know things at the time.  Slowly my being  charge switched over to her doing more.  That's not easy but necessary.  In meanings developing new trust in someone who had lost your trust.

Today Kari is herself.  She has learned more about the person God intended to be and enjoys it.  She loves her boys and enjoys being a mom.  

This is a small glimpse into what recovery takes... it's not a surprise that many people take a few tries at it.  They need support and it's scary.  A normal life can seem often more scary than the world of drugs which provides them comfort on a level.

This was a longer post than I normally write.  I am so grateful for having my daughter back.  We celebrate each year.  We went out to the Olive Garden and gave her gifts.  We talked about what happened four years ago and the changes.  Also we talk about what we think about in going forward.  Kari completes her AA this December.  She is soul searching about her future education.  She has thought about going into being a substance abuse counselor but then one needs to consider what salary one might make and the stress involved.

Have a wonderful week!